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Summary Edit

The LeviathanX gets stolen by a gang of thieves, forcing the crew to take refuge in the Yellow Spacemarine.

NOTE: MAKE AS MANY BEATLES REFERENCES AS YOU CAN.

Trranscript Edit

CHAOS: Sephiroth! Get the hell in here!

{B-621 enters with Sephiroth}

B-621: Wasn't Penny Lane great, captain?

{Chaos walks up to B-621, picks him up, and throws him across the room.}

CHAOS: Seph, you've got some explaining to do.

SEPHIROTH: What is it Doc?

CHAOS: What the hell is all of that? {points to huge pile of mail}

SEPHIROTH: I believe it's a big pile of mail.

{UT, THB, and Victor walk in}

UNHOLY TRACY: Thanks for not letting us back onto the ship yesterday, you assholes.

CHAOS: Well, I would've if there was room. The ship is full of mail from all of the same people-these Beat-Em-Ups, and they're all addressed to SEPHIROTH!

B-621: {Gets up} Not all of them. I think that large pile on the right is mail from them to me too.

SEPHIROTH: You know, I'm the captain, I'm the one who's supposed to be the dick here, not you. Jeez. But anyway, they're all responses to the fanmail we sent. They're very keen on answering fanmail.

UNHOLY TRACY: Ooh, hey, what's this? {picks up a light green, cylindrical box} Yay, it's the copy of Better Than Life I ordered! If you need me, I'll be having fun for once for a few days. C'mon, guys. {walks offscreen with THB and Victor}

CHAOS: Obviously. I've opened up half of these, and it's all been bills! Who would send somebody else their bills?

{K-Bot enters holding a letter labeled "URGENT".}

K-BOT HR'D: Guys, I was looking through some of these letters and I found this one. It says something about the ship being taken away for credit card use or something. Is this bad?

SEPHIROTH: Umm... Crap... DUCK AND COVER MATIES! {Dives headfirst into pile of letters} ...I am not here...

B-621: {Hides behind his letter pile} NO ROBOTS HERE

K-BOT HR'D: {hides with B-621} Yup, no robots.

SEPHIROTH: Hey! It's that T-Shirt I ordered!

CHAOS: Wiat, what? {Chaos takes the box and opens it up. He reads the letter enclosed} Dear Captain and Mrs. Sephiroth-{under his breath} wow, what a lie-We have sent this to inform you that you have run up $4,123,976 in credit card purchases. We have enclosed a statement of all of the objects purchased in the last month. We must also inform you that if you make one more purchase with your credit card, it will be rendered invalid and your ship will be re-possessed! Tahnk you and have a nice day, The Blue Meanie Retailler Company.

{Chaos turns red and turns around to the pile of letters Sephiroth is hiding in. When fires appear in his eyes, the pile of letters turn into ash, and Sephiroth is lying on the floor with a new change of outfit.}

CHAOS: Sephiroth...I...Am...GOING...TO KILL YOU!

SEPHIROTH: Really? Are you now? Quickly, guys! {Sephiroth and the two bots dash off.}

B-621: I take it nows not the best time to tell him I ordered life-sized Beat-em-up action figurines...

SEPHIROTH: Or the Videogame!

CHAOS: WHAT KIND OF AUTHORITY DO YOU THINK YOU HAVE JUST RUNNING AROUND CHARGING THAT MUCH MONEY ON A CREDIT CARD AND THE SAME ONE YOU PAID FOR THE SHIP WITH! WHEN I CATCH YOU I WILL GUT YOU AND HANG YOU ABOVE MY FIREPLACE! NOW COME HERE BEFORE I GET ANGRY!

K-BOT HR'D: As if you weren't angry already...

CHAOS: SHUT UP YOU LEMON-DROP RUST BUCKET! YOU AREN'T HELPING ANYMORE!

SEPHIROTH: Here's what I used to do to him when we were younger. {Turns around and heads towards Chaos. Sephiroth pokes a certain area near Chaos's neck, temporarily knocking him out.} There, now we can get the problem out of our hair without a half-crazed doctor shouting in our ears.

{Clockswipe, and Sephiroth, Chaos, K-Bot, and B-621 are now in the meeting room, looking over paperwork. Chaos is now awake again, but tied to the chair and struggling.}

CHAOS: Why did you have to tie me up! I want to get to the bottom of this, too!

SEPHIROTH: Because, if we untie you, you're surely tear my guts out! Silly!

CHAOS: I swear I won't! Now untie me so I can help you guys!

SEPHIROTH: Fine. {Unties Chaos, and then hides behind K-Bot.}

SHIP: We have visitors! I repeat! We have visitors!

CHAOS: Before I go get the door...

{Chaos Punches Sephiroth in the Cocyx.}

CHAOS: That was for tying me up! And...

{Sephiroth pukes up the credit card statement.}

CHAOS: For that. Now, I'll be right back. {Walks to door.}

{The door busts open, and a huge bulky creature bursts through and throws Chaos across the room. Beside him are smaller versions of the same man. They are all blue and fuzzy.}

????: Which one of ya's is called... {Looks at card.} Seppyrof?

SEPHIROTH: Me.. How did you get into this ship?

????: We came in through the bathroom window.

CHAOS: Oh, that's practical.

K-BOT HR'D: Why do we even have a window in the bathroom?

{The huge one walks up to K-Bot, and punches him in the stomach.}

????: We didn't ask for your opinion. But anyway, we're here to seize your ship.

SEPHIROTH: What?! YOU CAN'T DO THAT!

K-BOT HR'D: ...How did you punch me in a part I don't have? I'm a robot that consists of a head with limbs, ears and a tail.

????: WE MAKE THE RULES.

SEPHIROTH: Can we at least get names?

????: Sure. My name, is Mr. K. The big one's Henderson, and my cohort here is Pablo.

K-BOT HR'D: Any relation to Mr. T?

CHAOS: Don't be stupid. They're named after a band that plays Classical music.

PABLO: {falsetto voice} Do you mean Classic Rock?

CHAOS: No. Not at all.

MR. KITE: No Pablo. You know, {Hums the tune to "All you need is love."} ...Them!

PABLO: Oh! Queen!

MR. KITE: ....No. Anyway, we're allowing you 25 hours to grab all your personal belongings, back up your files, make a distress call, and evacuate the ship.

K-BOT HR'D: I'll go make some copies of the main computer's files and store them on me... very far away. {runs off}

SEPHIROTH: On brighter news, I did manage to get us all tickets to the.... BEAT-EM-UPS! {Holds up a huge wad of tickets.}

CHAOS: What. The. Hell.

SEPHIROTH: Yeah! The Beat-Em-Ups! BEST BAND IN THE WORLD BABY!

{K-Bot comes on over the intercom.}

K-BOT HR'D: Please don't tell me that you used the same credit card that's getting our ship repossesed to buy them...

SEPHIROTH: Nope. All you need is cash.

K-BOT HR'D: Thank god. Also, I made 10 backups of the ship's data and I'm in the process of storing it on my internal hard drive.

SEPHIROTH: Awesome. But about the ship, we can work it out! We always do!

{UT, THB, and Victor walk back onscreen}

UNHOLY TRACY: You just HAD to think about that, didn't you?!

THB: Sorry!

SEPHIROTH: Hmm?

{Homestar tiger walks onscreen, holding a bottle and sticking tweezers in it.}

SEPHIROTH: Hey Tiger. Guess what... did you hear the news?

VICTOR:{sighs} While we were playing Better Than Life, THB started thinking about accidents, so we started getting in accidents, each one more deadly than the last. It eventually culminated into getting nuked whilst we were visiting the Queen of England.\

UNHOLY TRACY: Wait, what news?

DINOMASHAUR: BUT WHEN I GET HOME TO YOU, AND ALL THE THINGS THAT YOU DO, YOU KNOW I FEEL ALRIGHT.

SEPHIROTH: {Looks at Dinomashaur for a second and pauses.} ......Yeah.. Anyway, due to a leeeeetle snag in finances, this ship's being taken over.

{Long moment of silence}

B-621: ...Who cares, we're seeing The Beat-em-ups! WHOOOOOO!!!

{Sephiroth and B-621 both high five, and everyone gives them an angry stare.}

B-621: ...Oh, come on! ITS THE BEAT-EM-UPS!

THB: ...Who?

UNHOLY TRACY: I think there some band from the sixties.

THB: Which sixties?

UNHOLY TRACY: Nineteen.

SEPHIROTH: Well, in a more serious note... Looks like we won't be seeing this ship for a while. I'm going to go and make the distress call. {Walks over to intercom, and presses the button.} Help. We need somebody. Help. Not just anybody. Help. If there's a place for us, we'll appreciate it.

VICTOR: Oh, hey, I think I know someone. {pulls out a cellphone, dials a number} Number Nine? Number Nine? Number Nine? Titanian Starship Number Nine? Yeah, it's me Victor. Can I speak to the captain, please? Thanks. ... Ah, hey, Jude! Look, um, the ship I'm on is being repossessed, and I was wondering if there's room on the ship for us to fit. ...No? Okay. {hangs up} Nevermind.

K-BOT HR'D: We could somehow try to persuade the Beat-Em-Ups to let us stay in their spacemarine for a while.

THB: ...Spacemarine?

VICTOR: I think it's a submarine-like spaceship.

UNHOLY TRACY: Yes, that's correct.

THB: ...But "submarine" means under the ocean.

UNHOLY TRACY: That is also correct.

THB: A space ocean?

VICTOR: Confusing, isn't it?

THB: Uh huh.

UT THB & VICTOR: Hmm.

HOMESTAR TIGER: Done! {Holds up bottle} Check it out! It's a yellow submarine in a bottle!

UNHOLY TRACY: Ooh, neat. And you didn't need any help from your friends? ...Oh wait, you don't have any friends.

HOMESTAR TIGER: Hey, come on! Meanie. And what are we doing today?

SEPHIROTH: Yeah.. Due to a few problems which are definitely not mine nor B-621's fault, we've lost the ship.

HOMESTAR TIGER: That means I'll need to move all my stuff again?

SEPHIROTH: Yeah... You seem relatively calm about this. But yeah, we're still trying to find a ticket to ride.

HOMESTAR TIGER: Here's our ticket! {Pulls out gun}

SEPHIROTH: Two can play at that game. {Pulls out a revolver.} But seriously, just let it be. I don't want to fight. We'll get through this. And hopefully before we're 64.

HOMESTAR TIGER: But I'm over 9000 years old!

{Later, Everybodys all packed up, and at one of the escape pods.}

MR. KITE: Looks like we'll be taking your ship tonight after all! GOO GOO, GOT YOU!!

{The Blue Meanies start laughing, and Sephiroth gives them an angry look.}

MR. KITE: See ya! {Presses a button outside the pod, and the pod doors shut. The pod then discharges from the ship and gets launched out into space.} HA! See how they fly? Like pigs in a sky! I bet they're cryin'!

{Cut to the inside of the pod. It has a round circle of seats, and a flatscreen TV on the wall. Connected to the TV is a Sega Genesis.}

HOMESTAR TIGER: {Crying} My room! {Looks in suit case} Hey, is that my piggy bank? Sephiroth, hand me my piggy bank.

SEPHIROTH: {Depressed.} Oh, yeah sure. {Passes piggy bank.} Sigh... I should of known better. .....It's kinda funny, isn't it? As yesterday, all our troubles were far away. Now it seems that they are here to stay.

{Homestar tiger uncorks the piggy bank, and money comes flying out.}

HOMESTAR TIGER: This is a tad ironic.

{Cut to the outside of space. A yellow spaceship is floating through space. It's yellow, and resembles a submarine. Cut inside. Everything is all funky, and 4 men are sitting on a shag carpet, holding instruments.}

STARKEY: Hey Paulus, how are you?

PAULUS: I'm fine Richard.

GEORGIUS: It's good to look out for your friends, you know?

STARKEY AND PAULUS: Yeah..

JOHNNY: So, what do you think would be a good name for our new album?

GEORGIUS: .....Titanium Soul?

PAULUS: ....Abbey Galaxy?

STARKEY: Ooh. I like that one.

{The ships radar goes off.}

PAULUS: Huh? What's that?

STARKEY: I'll go check.

{Starkey gets up and looks through the window. He sees the crew of the LeviathanX in the pod, floating.}

STARKEY: Guys! There's couple of guys out there... Looks like they're stranded. Should we let them in?

JOHNNY: Why not? I'm all for peace.

PAULUS: Yeah, sure.

{Cut back to the pod.}

HOMESTAR TIGER: Sephiroth, I counted about 5 million here.

THB: ...WHO FARTED

UNHOLY TRACY:{facepalms} Oh, dear Prudence...

THB: ...What?

UNHOLY TRACY: I like to say random swears, assfoot.

HOMESTAR TIGER: {Gagging} OXYGEN! I NEED CLEAN OXYGEN!

{The intercom system goes off, and the voice of Johnny is heard.}

JOHNNY: Hello? Everyone? Can you all hear me?

SEPHIROTH: That voice sounds familiar.

JOHNNY: It better damn be. We couldn't help but notice that you're stranded. Do you need a helping hand?

SEPHIROTH: Oh, yes please!

VICTOR: Wait, 5 million? Tiger, the walls are covered in mirrors.

{The Yellow Spacemarine approaches the pod, and attaches to it. The door of the pod opens.}

UNHOLY TRACY: Looks nice.

VICTOR: OH CRAP DAD DID YOU GET THE POT

UNHOLY TRACY: OH CRAP I LEFT ALL OF IT IN THE TARDIS

THB: Heh. {pulls out a small remote control, and presses a button on it}

{the sound of a TARDIS appearing is heard. UT's TARDIS materializes within the Spacemarine}

THB: Right here.

{Everyone enters the Spacemarine.}

SEPHIROTH: OH. MY. GOD.... THIS IS WHERE THE BEAT-EM-UPS LIVE!!! WE'RE LIVING WITH THE BEAT-EM-UPS!!!! OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD

PAULUS: Hey, Calm down fella.

SEPHIROTH: PAULUS TALKED TO ME! EEEEEEEEEEEE!!! YOU'RE MY FAVORITE ONE!

PAULUS: HA! I'm his favorite!

JOHNNY: Oh, whatever. Shut up you wanker.

PAULUS: Hey!

{Homestar tiger jams all the money into his piggy bank}

HOMESTAR TIGER: Hello, Beat-Em-Ups! Nice to meet you.

THB: Hmm... No, this can't be them. But, they do look similar...

UNHOLY TRACY: Maybe the sixties band we're thinking of are their ancestors or something.

THB: Ah, that's probably it.

B-621: OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD!!! THE BEAT-EM UPS! ITS THE BEAT-EM-UPS! {Hugs Johhny} You're just as soft as I imagined! Captain, take a picture!

SEPHIROTH: EEE!!! {Takes picture, and then rips it out of the camera, and gets out a pen.} AUTOGRAPH!!!

B-621: OH GOD YES. SIGN JOHHNY SIGN.

JOHNNY: {Laughs nervously.} ....Sure... {Signs photo and gives it to B-621.}

B-621: OH HOLY OCTOPUS'S GARDEN! CAPTAIN LOOK

HOMESTAR TIGER: Right... where can I put my crap, junk, and crappy junk?

STARKEY: {Points to a door leading to the garden.} Just put it in the garden shed. And yes, the garden is being protected by glass.

SEPHIROTH: What kind of garden?

STARKEY: Strawberry Fields.

HOMESTAR TIGER: ...You want me to sleep in a garden shed?

STARKEY: Oh please. Just look inside. It's much more than a shed.

{Homestar tiger looks in the shed}

HOMESTAR TIGER: Woah. It's pretty in here! We have a domed arboretum like this!

UNHOLY TRACY:{looks in} Quite a lot of 'shrooms for a strawberry garden...

THB: Er... I'll go fix up the TARDIS for Victor...

VICTOR: ...I'll help.

UNHOLY TRACY:{sighs} Suit yourselves. {snaps fingers}

{the TARDIS' doors open. Victor and THB enter it and shut the doors behind them}

{Homestar tiger starts unloading his stuff}

HOMESTAR TIGER: Pillow, Slingshot, Photos of friends, Gravity gun, {Pulls out doomsday device} Hey, I've been lookin' for that! {Puts it aside} Minigun blueprints...

{There's a large banging noise on the side of the ship.}

HOMESTAR TIGER: Can someone let the dog in? Wait a minute, that's not a dog. What's happening?!

{Chaos tears a hole in the ship and comes in, dressed in his battle suit from Episode 6.}

CHAOS: Thanks for waiting, GUYS. Not who wants to tell me what I missed before I blow somebody's head off?

UNHOLY TRACY: ...Well, not much. We've just been setting our stuff down, since the Beat-Em-Ups let us stay on there Spacemarine. Now, take off that goddamn battle suit and fix the hole you made before all the air gets out.

CHAOS: We'll be fine. Not like anybody on the ship is human.

UNHOLY TRACY: The Beat-Em-Ups are, and just because we aren't human, doesn't mean we don't need oxygen.

CHAOS: Then go put on a helmet. I don't really care right now. We have bigger problems. I was able to talk with the Blue Meanies, and they say if we can raise enough money by midnight tonight, we can buy back the ship. But we'll still be in debt until we manage to pay it all off. Problem is, we have no natural income.

UNHOLY TRACY:{sighs, pulls out some large sheets of metal, starts nailing them over the hole, starts singing to himself} Fixing a hole, where the air gets out...

CHAOS: So, how do we raise money?

UNHOLY TRACY:{finishes fixing the hole} Hmm... {claps hands. Some small, rectangular sheets of paper appear} ...Damn, just Monopoly money. I guess some of my powers are still locked out.

{K-Bot opens a hatch in his head. He feels through it, and then pulls out a wad of Japanese currency.}

K-BOT HR'D: Why do I have this?

UNHOLY TRACY: ... {puts hands in pockets, pauses, grabs the wad of Japanese currency} Because you stole my wallet, you asshole.

PAULUS: You guys seem like alright blokes. Hmm... How about we give you a fraction of our concert earnings?

GEORGIUS: Yeah! Seems good!

JOHNNY: Even though our concert isn't for another week..

ALL: Yeah......

SEPHIROTH: Well, it's still nice here. In fact, it's wonderful to be here. It's certainly a thrill.

JOHNNY: We're glad that you're at home with us, we're glad that you're at home!

K-BOT HR'D: I wonder what else is in my head?

{K-Bot searches his head. He pulls out 5 jars, all full of vinegar and with organs floating in them. They are labeled "Seph's 2nd Kidney", Seph's Appendix", "Seph's Gallbladder", "Seph's Left Lung", and "Seph's Tonsils".}

K-BOT HR'D: Uh... he he...

{Homestar tiger comes in and looks in K-Bot's bag. He pulls out a bag reading "Seph's Soul."}

HOMESTAR TIGER: This explains a lot!

SEPHIROTH: WHAT?!!!!! THAT IS IT!!!! {Pulls out revolver and shoots K-Bot in the feet. He then shoots the jars. He then picks up the organs.} Also, Tiger. Can you do me a favor and take my soul out and throw it to the ground. Trust me, it's convenient this way. I'll explain later.

HOMESTAR TIGER: Ummm... okay. {Uncorks jar and dumps it on the ground.} Uhh... I'll be in the garden shed. {Walks off}

{The soul bounces off the floor and goes into Sephiroth.}

SEPHIROTH: Rubber Soul! Whoo! But anyway... It's kinda boring here. Hey, one of you should spy on Tiger. It'll be funny!


B-621: I'm gonna go check this place out... {Walks off. Cut to what looks like an old storage room. B-621 enters} Hmmm... looks like... {Pulls out laptop and looks at this episode} An old storage room. {Throws laptop over shoulder. Notices an old man with tattered clothes sitting on the ground} GAH! ...Wait a minute, I know you... you're Skeet West! The Beat-Em-Ups old drummer!

SKEET WEST: The' ask mah to leave, but I ain't leavin' any time soon! I'm tha original! Not tha' Rick Starkey!

B-621: H-...how... how do you eat? It doesn't really look like any food is in here...

UNHOLY TRACY: There's a lot of food in the garden. Of course, most of it is 'shrooms, but...

SKEET WEST: I eat mould!

{Paulus comes in.}

PAULUS: DAMNIT! GUYS! HE'S STILL HERE!!

SKEET WEST: PAULUS!! OH HOWIMISSEDYA!!! {Stands up and walks over to him with his arms out. He is holding something.}

PAULUS: Wait... What's that? Looks like an album of some kind... {Takes it out of Skeet's hands.} Sargent Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band? What's this? {Zoom out to reveal the room is full of Beatles memorabilia.} Wha.... Beatles? {To B-621.} How did you find this room? I didn't even know it existed.. That explains why we've found Skeet here I guess.

B-621: I dunno. I was just walking around, and I found an orange-ish door.

{Long moment of silence}

B-621: ... Can I have some of your hair?

{K-Bot gets up}

K-BOT HR'D: I suppose I deserved that.


UNHOLY TRACY: Hmm? {looks at the Beatles stuff} ...OI! THB! VICTOR! COME OUT HERE!

{THB and Victor exit the TARDIS and run up to UT}

VICTOR: Yeah, dad?

UNHOLY TRACY: Is this who we were thinking of?

THB: ...I do believe it is. But, how could all this stuff survive for over 7000 years?

PAULUS: Well see... This ship can survive long time periods. It's completely stable and protected against time barriers. If you want, you could put a piece of fresh meat in this ship, and leave it here for years. And it wouldn't at all go bad.

K-BOT HR'D: {at a randomly placed refrigerator} Is that why there's a steak in here that has an expiry date of 1779 in here that's still good?

PAULUS: That, and it was a prop for our rejected album cover. {Gets out a CD case with the cover showing the Beat-Em-Ups all in white suits, throwing meat at each other while covered in ketchup.} Yeah..

UNHOLY TRACY: ...No baby dolls?

CAPTCHA: So, no baby dolls. Yep.

PAULUS: Who the {BEEP} is this guy? And yes, we did have baby dolls.

CAPTCHA: Sorry, I gave them to a dog, and asked him if he can eat the dolls.

PAULUS: No. No you didn't. You weren't even there. Who are you? Are you a groupie or something?

{Sephiroth comes in.}

PAULUS: This guy, is he with you?

SEPHIROTH: No...

PAULUS: How about you Skeet?

SKEET: NAHWAY MANG.

PAULUS: So you are a groupie?

CAPTCHA: NO.

PAULUS: Then who are you? Tell us now, and tell us how you even got on here in the first place or we'll have no choice but to kick you off.

CAPTCHA: I found this place, and call me anything. Just no bad names.

{OOC: Are you even paying attention to the plot? Because if you're gonna just be random, please leave.}

VICTOR:{yawns} ...Look, can I leave now? For the past few days, I've been working like a dog, and now I should be sleeping like a log.

UNHOLY TRACY: ...Sure go ahead.

{Victor walks off and enters the TARDIS}

SEPHIROTH: Well guys, I gotta help Chaos negotiate with the Meanies to see if we can postpone the paydue!

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