Synopsis Edit

The crew hooks an old TV made in around 2008 up in the meeting room.

Transcript Edit

{Everyone is in the meeting room, looking at Chaos. All, except for Sephiroth, who seems to be playing a PSP.}


CHAOS: Well, I have a new invention to show off, and I call it, {Cut outside. Chaos dumps R@1ku in a trash can.} GetTheHellOutYouIdioticRobotAndDon'tComeBackUntilAfterWeFinishThisParticularScene. {cut back}

SEPHIROTH: So, what is it called? ......{Looks at the PSP.} OH RIGHT! I GOT 1000 METRES IN 3 MINUTES! WHOO!

CHAOS: I dunno. I thought you guys invented something. I just lied about having one so we could all talk. It gets broing very easily around here.

SEPHIROTH: True. .......I heard this rumor that there's this big dump somewhere in the Malteser Galaxy that holds lots of old objects from Earth.

CHAOS: Cool. Why don't you guys go check it out?

SEPHIROTH: That's what I was thinking. Hell, I might find a legendary Sega Genesis.

CHAOS: See if you can find anything in the "Human remains" bins. Y'know what? Just buy them all. I feel like creating something today.

SEPHIROTH: Righty-O. SET COURSE TO MALTESER GALAXY EARTH DUMP! {The Ship beeps twice, as a confirmation signal.} Ooh. That sounds bland. Change confirmation signal to blame it on the boogie!

SHIP: Don't blame it on the sunshine, Don't blame it on the moonlight, Blame it on the boogie!


{Cut:Earth Dump. The gang, save for Chaos, gets out of the ship, only to be greeted by a giant, fat, green alien with 3 eyes.}

DIRTY LOU: {Brooklyn Accent} Welcome to de Oith dump! I'm Doity Lou. Browse to ya hart's content.

SEPHIROTH: Thanks. How much will this cost? And do you accept Mercurian Dollars?

DIRTY LOU: Indeed we do. Technology and Oith toy bins are 2 Mecurin Dolas pe item. Housewares and Living sapplies a 1. Any udda bin is free.

SEPHIROTH: Nice. Good thing I have a few grand.

DIRTY LOU: You can pay on ya way out. I just need ta take a check at your poichased itums.

SEPHIROTH: Thank you good sir. A'ight crew, search around for anything you want.

{Wade stumbles out of the ship, still out of it from all the syringes.}

WADE: O-oh. We landed! {snickers}

{Wade starts rolling in the trash.}

SEPHIROTH: RED ALERT! REFERENCE TO PREVIOUS EPISODE! UH OH. {Runs towards Wade, and quickly removes the syringes. He then snaps his fingers, and the previous episode is forgotten.} Whew...

WADE: ... Look! Trash!

{Wade continues to roll in the trash.}

SEPHIROTH: Is there anything there you would like?

{Wade picks up a strange skull-headed robot.}

WADE: Ooh! Can I have this?

ROBOT: {coughs} Where am I-?

SEPHIROTH: No, no. That's just another mouth to feed!

WADE: Awww. Okay.

ROBOT: No no wait take me please-!

{Wade tosses the robot over a pile of junk.}

B-621: {Reaches into pile of junk} Hmmm? {Pulls out a DS. Looks at the cartridge inside} What is... Ace Attorney?

SEPHIROTH: If you want it...

B-621: Hmmm... I should study this! ...How do I work this thing?

{UT walks out of the ship}

UNHOLY TRACY: Ahh, this reminds me of Earth. WAIT WHAT IS THAT {pulls a dead Bell clone out of the remains bin} Hey, Chaos! You need this?

{the human remains bin starts shaking}

UNHOLY TRACY: What the f-

{True Hollow Bell bursts out of the bin}

UNHOLY TRACY: ...Oh, dammit.

TRUE HOLLOW BELL: Huh? Oh, HEY, UT! How've you been?

UNHOLY TRACY: Just fine, until YOU showed up...

TRUE HOLLOW BELL: Haha! You're just as funny as ever, UT.

UNHOLY TRACY:{pulls out a knife, starts stabbing THB in the face} Stabbity.

{This comes out of the spaceship}

??? I never thought I'd have to leave the ship... Hey, guys.


WADE: I am scared and confused!

B-621: {Still fiddling with DS} HOW. DO. I. WORK. THIS.

UNHOLY TRACY: Oh, you stupid little robot. Here, let me show you. {takes DS} Well, you see you... Er... Oh wait, I liked Wiis, not DSes. NEVERMIND. {gives the DS back to B-621}

???: I feel unloved.

SEPHIROTH: {Looks around the dump until he sees something huge and metallic buried in the ground. He walks towards it and proceeds to pick it up, with no avail. He then takes off his shirt, revealing his muscles, and tries again, this time successful. As he pulls it from the ground, the object is revealed to be a giant pair of legs from a Mecha.} WHOA! THAT. IS AWESOME. {Gets out a little device labeled "Compression Gun", and shoots the Legs. They shrink into a tiny form, and Sephiroth puts it in his bag.}

{The Spart comes out and starts picking out a few things from the dump, mostly Sardine cans.}

THE SPART: Oh groovy! There's some extra fish in these cans! Gonna have a full course meal tonight! YOW!

SEPHIROTH: Where were you?

THE SPART: I was chilling in my pad.

B-621: Captain, can you help me out with this... thingy?

SEPHIROTH: Sure. {Takes DS and scans it. He then looks at the side and flicks the switch. It comes on.} I think I did it.. {Gives it to B-621.}

B-621: Okay, now what? ...Hmmm? {Takes out Stylus from the side} Whats this white stick?

SEPHIROTH: No idea.. Maybe it's like some configuration thingy for one of the screens.

{Wade's laughter can be heard from afar.}

SEPHIROTH: What's that thingy doing now?

{Wade is watching something on an old flatscreen.}

WADE: Teehee! That dog is funny!

SEPHIROTH: What's that?

WADE: Uhh... the fun box called it "Courage the Cowardly Dog"! It is so funny seeing him yell! It reminds me of me!

SEPHIROTH: Looks old... Wanna keep it?


SEPHIROTH: It could come in handy with my "Di-vee-dee Vee-ach-hess" System I found.

B-621: I will call this device... the BS!

SEPHIROTH: The Nintendo Bull-$#17?

B-621:- Okay, nevermind... I WILL CALL THIS... THE NINTENDO DUAL-SCREEN. DS for short.

SEPHIROTH: You mean like it says in the menu?

B-621: ...Oh. Theres something on the menu. It says... "Phoenix Wright: Trials And Tribulations" {Pronounces it "Phonics Rigit: Treeals and Triboolations}

WADE: Pardon me but that sounds extremely dumb and stupid sir!

{Long awkward slience}

WADE: I know, the irony is staggering.

SEPHIROTH: .....Hey.... What's this? {Sees something else. He walks towards it and picks it up. It is revealed to be a Sega Genesis.} OH MY GOD... IT'S A LEGENDARY SEGA GENESIS. THIS CREATION OF GOD WAS REPORTED TO DO WHAT NINTENDON'T. WE MUST CHERISH ITS PRESENCE.

WADE: Can I play? Pretty please?

SEPHIROTH: When we get back on the ship.

{Cut back to the entrance. All the crew members go back onto the ship holding many items. Sephiroth pays Dirty Lou the money, and goes on the ship.}

DIRTY LOU: Thanks fer comin', an' all dat jazz. Come back sometime!

{The ship takes off.}

DIRTY LOU: ... It gets real lonely up here. {sniffles}

{Cut: the rec room. Wade is hooking up the Genesis to a floating screen.}

SEPHIROTH: Well, I managed to get a few games for the Genesis as well. Sonic 3 & Knuckles, Sonic Compilation, Gunstar Heroes, Megaman Wily Wars, and more. {Gets out a box with the games in it.} They're in here.

WADE: Ahhh, Mr. Sephiroth man? This TV does not have any plugs!

SEPHIROTH: We could try the funnybox.

WADE: OOH! Good idea!

{Wade waddles off to go get the "funbox".}

B-621: Alright, then! I was able to find three more "Ake Atourney" thingys! I'll start out with the first one. {Puts first game in DS}

SEPHIROTH: Cool.. I'm gonna give a few things to Chaos.

B-621: Okay, apparently I'm controlling a lawyer with spikey hair... Okay, looks like I'm gonna have to answer some qouestions... okay, name of defendant... cause of death... name? CRAP, HAVEN'T FIGURED THAT OUT YET. ....Court record? ...Okay, Cindy Stone... Alright, answered them all. Now time for the trial to begin...

{10 minutes later}

B-621: Okay, now what? Hmmm? Thats not right. How do I object...? {Accidentally presses Y.} W-wha? Hmmm... Objection? ...Holy crap, that was cool!

{5 more minutes later}


SEPHIROTH: Yeah, I'm gonna carry on playing my PSP. {Gets out PSP.}




{Wade walks in, carrying the "funbox".}

WADE: Got it!

SEPHIROTH: Alright, let's plug this baby in.


WADE: I should do that.

SEPHIROTH: You should.

{Wade plugs in the tv. It instantly turns to an old channel.}

WADE: Oh! Who is that man with the scarf and hat and phonebooth?

{Suddenly, the Tardis appears, and the Doctor steps out.}


THE DOCTOR: Sorry, I accidentally hit the wrong co-ordinates. Hey! That's me! {Points to the screen.} Oh well. Off I go! {Goes back into the Tardis and vanishes.}


WADE: I like this box! It shows me things that could never happen to me!

SEPHIROTH: Let me try.. {Switches channel to the movie channel.} Wha?! Why is that girl dancing with that Scarecrow? And what the hell is that Lion doing there?

WADE: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Turn it off! Turn it off!

SEPHIROTH: What? It scares you?

{Wade runs over to the TV and switches the channel to TDI.}


{Wade changes it again, this time to King of the Hill.}

WADE: That's better!

{UT and THB walk in}

UNHOLY TRACY: Hey, guys-Wait, I just realized something. Are THB and I the ONLY people on this ship who remembers how stuff works back from the 2nd millennium?

{Chaos hits Unholy Tracy up on his 2-way.}


UNHOLY TRACY: Oh right. I forgot about you. ...Wait, what about Seph? He was alive back then, and he acts like stuff from our time are just legends!

CHAOS: Explosion, Bell. Explosion. SOMEBODY is bound to die.

UNHOLY TRACY: Oh, right.

THB: You know what's strange? I just crawled out of a pile of garbage and followed you onto the ship, and NOBODY cares! And, as far as I know, nobody knows who I am...

UNHOLY TRACY: And THAT'S why I hate you, THB. {pulls out a pocket knife, stabs THB in the eye... socket}

{Homestar tiger runs in screaming with a knife in his back. He falls on the floor dead.}

UNHOLY TRACY: ...I don't know how, or why, but this is somehow your fault, isn't it?

THB: Probably.

CHAOS: Look, can you tell Seph to hurry up? JCM just called and if you guys don't get here to help me in time, he'll start trying to actually be friends with me.

{Another Homestar tiger runs in on fire. He falls on the floor dead.}

WADE: Ahhh... what's wrong with Mr. Tiger man?

UNHOLY TRACY: ...Clones? Okay, this is DEFINITELY your fault.

THB: Looks like it.

{An ubercharged Homestar tiger with a minigun runs through being ubercharged by a Homestar tiger with a medigun}

HOMESTAR TIGER: {Offscreen} Help! Someone hooked the cloner up to my computer while I was playing Team Fortress 2!!

UNHOLY TRACY: ...Okay, it can't be you. You've been right next to me this whole time.

THB: Strange...

{Suddenly, a laser shines on THB's forehead, and BOOM}



UNHOLY TRACY: Well, a bunch of Homestar tiger clones are attacking us AND MY NAME'S UNHOLY TRACY DAMMIT CALL ME UT OR SOMETH-

{THB's body punches his hand into the back of UT's head, rips out his skull, and places it on his neck. Tentacles extend out from under the skull, and latch onto his shoulders}

THB: You fail at life, Tiger. {pulls out a sword, slices the clone's head off}

WADE: This is all very confusing. CHAOS: Oh, wondering where my cloning machine went. Look, if you want to stop it, all you have to do is go to the machine, and clog it's intake with something BIG.

UNHOLY TRACY:{rips off head, a new one grows in its place} Will a human skull do?

CHAOS: No, it's a BIG intake. Why not use Wade? It won't hurt him, just the thousands of potential H*T's you're going to kill.

UNHOLY TRACY: ...Can I clog it with a... {looks at THB} ...thing the size of a fully grown, adult human male?

CHAOS: No. Too much harms the clog, too little does nothing. Find something equal in size to Wade, at least.

WADE: You don't mind if I take the TV into my room, do you? Ahhh... my room is pretty much the closet, but still?

UNHOLY TRACY: Ungh, alright... Wade, can you follow me?

WADE: Okay!

{Wade picks up the television and starts following Tracy. Cut to H*t's room. UT takes Wade and stuffs him into the intake. Cut to a few minutes later. UT and Wade, who is carrying the TV run onscreen}


CHAOS:' You have to leave Wade IN the intake tube for a while.

WADE: But I am very sore now! Please find something else!

{Wade sets down the television.}


{a giant, green Homestar tiger bursts into the room}

{Ryan-X walks in}

RYAN-X: Oh hey there. I- {sees giant HST} What now...

WADE: It has been a long day.

CHAOS: Tracy, hand the phone to Ryan. I think I know how I can fix this.

UNHOLY TRACY: Right. {hands phone to Ryan-X}


{Ryan's head and arms pop off from the suit}

RYAN-X: What the flying crap?! My suit just-Hey, did I hear Wily Wars before? I would play...if I could move. Somehow I can move my arms...

{All the HST clones disappear}

HOMESTAR TIGER: Crap, I was disconnected from the server!

{Sephiroth comes in, wearing a Protective Suit.}

SEPHIROTH: Wow, that was fun. Oh yeah, and Tiger..... You may need to start looking for a new computer. Unless you're good at repairing charred piles of debris which have been ejected into space!

{Homestar tiger whines... then looks at the sniper tiger's hat}

HOMESTAR TIGER: Oh, cool! {Takes off black hat, puts on sniper hat} Like it?

SEPHIROTH: {Takes the hat of Tiger and ejects that into space.} No.


SEPHROTH: I really should get a robot janitor. Hopefully one with no emotions.

HOMESTAR TIGER: {flies back in, all beaten up and clothes torn. He has the sniper hat back on, which is in perfect shape.} Got the hat back! Excuse me, I need to fix myself up. {Leaves}

SEPHIROTH: Alright, I'm going to plug in the genesis. {Picks up the TV, and goes back into the meeting room. He plugs in the Genesis and switches it on.} Wow... It works.

{Homestar tiger runs in}

HOMESTAR TIGER: What channels does it have?

SEPHIROTH: Lots.. It's kinda weird, as this TV is thousands of years old, yet it receives channels from every moment of time. Look at this. {Turns the TV on, and changes the channel to a 1940's News Station.}

TV: Breaking news! The Nazi War Criminal "Adolf Hitler" has just been found dead in a bunker with his wife, Eva Braun. He was reported to have shot himself. His wife, however showed no signs of violence.


HOMESTAR TIGER: COOL! Hey, can you go to 2000 on it and play Cartoon Network?

SEPHIROTH: Sure. {Changes the channel to year 2000 Cartoon Network. Ed, Edd, n Eddy is on.} What's this?

HOMESTAR TIGER: Ed, Edd, and Eddy, of course! {Eddy is using Ed to shovel} Dig a hole, dig a hole, dig a hole! HAW!

SEPHIROTH: How did you know that?

HOMESTAR TIGER: I've been watching since it came on until they stopped showing it!!

SEPHIROTH: How? ......How old are you?

HOMESTAR TIGER: I'm over 9000!

SEPHIROTH: Wow. You look rather young for your age.

HOMESTAR TIGER: It's a mystery me and Shwoo have been trying to solve for 8000 years!

SEPHIROTH: She's old too?

HOMESTAR TIGER: And she still looks great! Oh, look, Tom and Jerry is on!

SEPHIROTH: A Cat and a mouse.... Fighting? Wow.... This is old.

HOMESTAR TIGER: Well, so am I! {Looks at tv} HAHAHAHAHA!!


HOMESTAR TIGER: What are these "things?"

WADE: I hope it's birthday cake!

HOMESTAR TIGER: Hey, Wade, old buddy! Wanna watch some cartoooooooooooons with me? {Stretches the Cartoons sound}

SEPHIROTH: No, they're spare animal parts.

HOMESTAR TIGER: OOOOoooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh.... {Stretches the Oh}

WADE: Are they edible?

SEPHIROTH: Not for you! Plus, I already got you some crispies to eat! {Gets out a box of rice crispies.}

{Homestar tiger puts wade atop his head}

WADE: I make a nice hat!

HOMESTAR TIGER: {Takes sniper hat and puts it on Wade} So does this! Now shut up and watch the television!

SEPHIROTH: Hey! Wade! I said I got you crispies!

WADE: I'll get to it!

{Wade grabs an as-of-yet unseen remote and flips the channel.}

WADE: Hahaha! That fat guy is fighting a chicken! ... Wait a minute! That's not funny at all!

{Wade glares at you. Yes, you, Adrian.}


SEPHIROTH: Let me try something.

{Sephiroth changes the channel.}

SEPHIROTH: Whoa. Those are some foul mouthed kids. Especially that fat one.

HOMESTAR TIGER: Gimme that! {Takes remote, clicks through channels} Oh, cool, the Video Game Channel! Lemme see if I can get some console commands for my VALVE games.

SEPHIROTH: You mean the ones I destroyed?

WADE: Ahhhhh... I hope you still have the disk!

SEPHIROTH: .....Well, if I didn't destroy it, then this ship would still be in turmoil by the clones. Don't worry, we still have the GENESIS.

UNHOLY TRACY:{wakes up suddenly} Huh? Wha? ...IS THIS THE G4 CHANNEL YAY

{Chaos enters the room.}

CHAOS: ...The hell? What are you all doing?

SEPHIROTH: Watching this TV we unearthed. Oh yeah, I got you some spare animal parts! {Gets out a box full of body parts.}

HOMESTAR TIGER: If you find my foot in there, can I have it back?

SEPHIROTH: {Changes channel to a 1960's Music channel.}

TV: Help me get my feet right off the ground!! And I do appreciate that simple sound! Will you please, please help me?

CHAOS: {Grabbing the box of animal remains} TV...{turns it to 2002, Scrubs appears onscreen.} I've got a bad feeling about this thing.

HOMESTAR TIGER: OOO! I love this show!

SEPHIROTH: I assume it is because it is set in a hospital, right?

THB: AGH EW SCRUBS {changes channel} Ooh, Cinemax. ... {looks at Wade, changes channel} Nevermind...

CHAOS: Well, I'm heading up to my room with this crap. I've actually got to build Ryan a new body, though. Anybody know where his remains went?

SEPHIROTH: Scattered.

UNHOLY TRACY: Oh, hey, that reminds me. {pulls out a Bell clone} I found this in the human remains bin. D'you want it?

HOMESTAR TIGER: You can take mine! {Eats TF2 stickybomb}

UNHOLY TRACY: Er, wait. Ryan's a blue anthro fox. Hold on... {pulls out a UT clone, transforms it into his furry form} There.

HOMESTAR TIGER: So, you don't want mine... oh dear. I just ate a bomb.

THB:{disconnects a tentacle from his shoulder, stretches it down H*t's throat, pulls out the bomb} Ding.

{Said bomb explodes, blasting Ash onto THB's face.}

CHAOS: I hear ash stains. Better {starts laughing} break out the bleach!

{Chaos walks off laughing.}

THB: ... {shakes off the ash}

HOMESTAR TIGER: Good thing there was a detonater. I would hate to have that go off.



{Homestar tiger runs in}

HOMESTAR TIGER: That game just dupes kids into think court is fun! WHAT, do you just play it because you have nothing better to do?! DAAAH! {Smashes game with baseball bat}

UNHOLY TRACY:{appears} Hi, I'm from the future, from when Chaos rips out your goddasmn heart for not giving a crap about the plot and subplots. {kicks H*t into a wall, pulls out another DS, with the same Ace Attorney game in it, at the exact same point B-621 was playing at, hands to B-621}

HOMESTAR TIGER: {Weakly} I think you shattered my everything.

B-621: NYEHEHEH {Touches screen with stylus} Ace attorney ace attorney ace attorney... {Continues to slowly chant Ace Attorney to himself}

HOMESTAR TIGER: Aw, crap, it's that rancid smell of addiction. I kept smelling it when I was watching Wallace and Gromit.

{UT's phone rings}

UNHOLY TRACY: Hmm? {gets out cellphone, flips open} Hello?

THB:{from phone} Hey, uhh, I was looking around in your TARDIS, and I think your Timey-Wimey Detector's broken.

UNHOLY TRACY: What do you mean?

THB:{from phone} Well, there's stuff, but it's not going "ding".

UNHOLY TRACY: ...Right, I'll be right there. {flips phone closed} Ciao! {disappears}

{cut back to the rest of the crew, watching TV}

KYUBII: Oh, Fred Flinstone! You're such a riot! Heh... yabba-dabba-do...

THB: NEXT {changes channel} ...Squids? In the country?

HOMESTAR TIGER: There are squids in the country in 5647, remember?

{Wade is shown, snoozing.}

HOMESTAR TIGER: He's sleeping on my brain. I've got a little green thing on the brain! AND I CAN'T THINK!!

{Wade suddenly bolts off of HT's head.}

WADE: Please don't yell so loud!


SEPHIROTH: 'Scuse me! I'm watching Tivee!

HOMESTAR TIGER: Sorry, Wade. Now, let's do something everyone loves to do together. Eat food, play cards and watch TV!

{the thing from earlier walks in}

???: I wonder what's for DINNAH?

HOMESTAR TIGER: Oh, god what is that thing? Whatever it is- {Pulls out baseball bat} It's dead! {Runs towards ???}


HOMESTAR TIGER: You got it, pal! {Pulls out flamethrower}

THB:{screeches and detaches head. It latches onto the creature} I'LL HOLD HIM DOWN FOR YA

{K-Bot stumbles into the room)

K-BOT HR'D: {Scratchy, robotic voice} Heey guysss, I tink some {qucikly} sort of frequence {normal voice} is giving me a severe system failure! Also {robotic} I was hit by a truckkkkk... {powers down and falls over}

{Homestar tiger ignites the ???}

(OOC: I want this to tie in with my idea on the talk page.)

???: AUGHHH! STOP, DROP, AND ROLL! {does so} You people are real jerks to your... Oh. I guess you've never actually seen me. I'm actually Tahu. Hi. {holds out mecha hand}

HOMESTAR TIGER: Oh, hi. I thought you were some kinda monster. {Holds out invisible hand}

WADE: Ta-whoooooooooooo.

SEPHIROTH: Guys.. Try not to injure other crew members. The punishment for that is a swift kick in the balls, you know.

HOMESTAR TIGER: Shut up! {Compressed Air Blasts Sephiroth out of the room.}

SEPHIROTH: {Runs back in.} Technically that wasn't injuring, but still annoying so I will do this. {Picks up a trashcan, and dumps the trash on Homestar Tiger.} Just like that. {Smug grin.}

{R@1ku is playing Pokemon Diamond and Pearl. He is using a Steelix.}

SEPHIROTH: Steelix? Meh. I use a Rayquasa.

R@1KU: HELLO COMMANDER. WANNA PLAY WIFI? {pulls out other ds.}

UNHOLY TRACY: ...This is getting stupid.

THB: Seriously.

UNHOLY TRACY: If you need us, we'll be at the bar.

{THB and UT walk offscreen}

HOMESTAR TIGER: When does the episode end?

SEPHIROTH: What the hell are you talking abou-

{Episode ends.}

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